Hey there, friend! Happy New Year! I hope you’re enjoying your day as we kick off 2025. If you’re anything like me, you’re probably looking forward to what this new year has in store. For me—well, let’s just say last year was rough on so many levels. Permanently ending a relationship with someone I thought I was going to marry, dealing with crippling anxiety on multiple fronts, and battling depression tooth and nail were definitely not the highlights of 2024. But you know what? I made it. And so did you. For that, we’ve got to be thankful, right?
One big thing that comes with the New Year is the resolutions so many of us decide to embrace. You know the whole “New Year, New Me” thing? I have to be honest—I’ve grown to kinda hate that phrase, lol. I promise I’m not a hater, but that particular saying irks the living hell out of me 😂. As someone trying their best to understand their behavior and triggers, I took some time to reflect on why it bothers me. It didn’t take long to find my answer.
Now, I’m hoping I haven’t scared off any New Year, New Me folks lol. And if I did I apologize as that was not my intention. I realized though, my problem around that saying is, with most things, internalized regarding personal experience. And if you are willing to hear about it, I would be pleased to tell you.
New Year, Same Me?
January 2, 2023, Starting my fitness journey again lol
In my very first note, I mentioned my struggle with my weight. Honestly, “struggle” doesn’t even feel like a strong enough word. I’ve battled obesity for almost as long as I’ve been alive. And for as long as I can remember, it’s negatively impacted me—not just physically, but emotionally and mentally as well.
Back then (and even now), I knew I needed to do something to get my life together. So every New Year’s that came around, take a wild guess at what my resolution was. Yep, to lose weight—just like so many others. Like clockwork, on January 1st, I’d head to the gym, joining countless others with the same goal. This phenomenon is often called the “New Year’s Gym Rush.” During this time, gyms rake in tons of money from new memberships as people commit to their resolutions. But unfortunately, most of those newly inspired members, myself included, would start to fizzle out after just a month or so.
Time and time again I would utter those words…. “New Year, New Me” only to fail to stay committed. More like “New Year, Same Me”. So again and again, I would psych myself up to finally lose the weight, only to be crushed by the heavy disappointment of yet another failed attempt.
I won’t lie—I struggle to give myself grace in many areas, but my weight is by far the hardest. I beat myself up, both physically and emotionally, for being overweight, and it can be incredibly difficult to muster up the motivation to try again.
To be completely honest, my weight is still really hard to deal with. However, I know that there are so many others dealing with the same thing. So now you know why that phrase can be a bit triggering. All though meant to be a motivational remark on sculpting a new life, for me it’s been internalized as a constant mockery of my old one.
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It can be incredibly difficult to muster up the motivation to try again.
Beware Buddy Love
One of the toughest things about wanting to change something about yourself is how fast we want it to happen. I felt this especially during my weightloss journey.If there were a magical button that could instantly make me fit, I’m ashamed to admit I’d probably smash the hell out of it without hesitation. Interestingly enough, this reminds me of one of my favorite movies growing up: The Nutty Professor.
Spoiler Alert: If you haven’t seen it, proceed with caution!
In the movie, Sherman Klump is a professor and research scientist at his university. Although Sherman is a genius with a heart of gold, he’s severely overweight, struggles with low self-esteem, and has a huge crush on a fellow professor he’s too timid to approach.
Through his research, Sherman creates an experimental weight-loss drug with insanely quick results. Given his circumstances, he decides to test it on himself, and the Formula X miraculously works. However, there are significant drawbacks to his transformation. His slimmer self, Buddy Love, is an impulsive, testosterone-driven maniac who essentially becomes the villain of the story. Sherman soon realizes that while losing all the weight quickly might get him closer to the girl of his dreams, it comes at a very real cost.
The Nutty Professor came out in 1996, and I remember it fondly from my youth. As a kid—and even now as an adult—I relate so heavily to Sherman. His intentions weren’t evil; he was just someone who was sick and tired of being the odd one out. Sherman tried to lose weight the traditional way, but like so many of us, he found the uphill battle incredibly discouraging.
So as a child, I used to fantasize about being able to take Formula X to finally be rid of this body. But now as an adult, I am able to see something that was hidden from my blissfully ignorant childhood:
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True change is not something that can happen instantaneously, no matter how bad we may want it.
So instead we need to focus on another type of change.
Advice From a Wise Man
A completed paper crane. Something as intricate as this started with one fold.
Forgive me, but I want to briefly bring up my ex for a second. Well, not her specifically, but her grandfather. During our relationship, I got extremely close to Sunny’s grandfather. She used to live with her grandparents, so whenever I visited I always enjoyed sitting down and talking with him. He is such a wise man and always has been a source of encouragement and knowledge.
One day we were talking about my struggle with losing weight. I might have been expressing how discouraged I was or something similar I cant remember. But one thing I do remember and always hold dear to me is what he said. Simply he said to me “Rich… you didn’t gain all the weight overnight. So don’t expect to lose it overnight either”. Although simple, it was delivered in a very effective and powerful manner.
Sunny’s grandfather is a man of few words, but when he speaks, his words are meant to leave an impact. He was absolutely right. There’s no way on God’s green earth that I’ll lose over 100 pounds in one night. But honestly, that’s not the way I need to be thinking anyway.
To effectively make a change, there has to be a small but meaningful first step. From there, you just keep taking small steps, one after another, no matter what. It’s not going to be as easy as drinking a magic potion, but it’s all about moving forward gradually. Keep pushing with everything you’ve got, and eventually, you’ll be able to look back and say, “Damn, did I do that?” (Erkel Reference lol).
So now if you don’t mind, I want to share something with you.
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To effectively make a change, there has to be a small but meaningful first step.
Self-Work: One Little Step
So this is the part where I usually challenge you to do something that may be out of your comfort zone. But I want to change it up a bit. I want to challenge myself too.
I have many goals this year, but one of my main ones is to make small, gradual changes that will help me lose weight. Maybe your goal is to lose weight too, and if so, great! If not, that’s completely fine. I just want you to think about one goal you have for this year. It’s okay if you have many, but for now, I want you to focus on just one.
Once you have that goal in mind, think about the first small step you can take this week to work toward it. For example, if your goal is to lose weight, your first step might be getting some workout clothes. If your goal is to start creating content, maybe it’s deciding on a name for your YouTube channel. The key is to make your first step small enough that it feels almost insignificant, but meaningful enough to get you moving in the right direction.
Throughout the year, I’ll share updates on my progress and check in with you to see how you’re doing. We’ve got this! And if you feel like sharing your goal or your first step with me, I’d love to hear from you.
The inspiration for the title of this note. My brother put me on to this band years ago, this is one songs he shared with me that I still listen too all the time.
Take care and talk to you soon Rich Your Big Brother
Thank you Reader for reading this. The fact that you care enough to listen to what I have to say means so much. The world is a pretty difficult place sometimes, and our mental health can make all the difference. Please know that as long as you will allow me, I am here with you.
