I’m so happy to be talking with you in my second note of the year. See? I told you I’d be better about writing these 😅.
But in all seriousness, I hope you’ve been doing well over the last few weeks since we last spoke. And if not, then—like always—I pray you’ve found a healthy way to cope.
In this note, I want to talk about something I used to dread: my birthday.
I’m writing this just a few days after, and it feels really important to get it out to you while the thoughts are still fresh.
So, if you’re ready for a story… I’m ready to tell one.
P.S. — Don’t worry, this one’s way shorter than my last note 😂.
Taking Back My Birthday
Photo by Jess Bailey Designs
This past Wednesday, January 28th, I turned 36 years old. (I know—damn. I keep thinking of that stupid Kevin Hart meme 😅.)
But it’s true. I’m officially four years away from 40.
If you remember, last year I wrote a note about my complicated feelings toward birthdays. I talked about not feeling special, not caring to plan anything, and just being… disappointed. Honestly? Depressed.
Then my ex, Sunny, temporarily changed that by throwing me a surprise birthday party—one that, at the time, became not just one of the best birthdays of my life, but one of the best days of my life.
And you know how the rest of that story went.
Because of the turbulent relationship Sunny and I shared, she ended up leaving a negative imprint on what should’ve been a joyful day. And just like that, my birthday reverted back to what it had always felt like: just the day I happened to arrive on Earth.
Me Big Chilling here 🤣
So in 2025, determined to break that cycle, I did something I had never done before: I booked a solo trip to Jamaica.
And it turned out to be one of the most memorable experiences of my life.
Beautiful weather. Incredible food. Rest and relaxation at a stunning resort. It was exactly what I needed to cure the birthday blues.
But more importantly, this trip was about reclaiming something. It wasn’t just a celebration of life—it was a symbolic funeral for the hold that toxic relationship had on me.
I felt… liberated. As if I had taken my first real step toward rediscovering who I am—on my own, as a newly single man.
“
It wasn’t just a celebration of life, but a symbolic funeral
Wonderfully Simple
Photo by Reggie Pankova: The simple but beautiful flower being held to the canvas with a band-aid
So, you might be thinking… “Well Rich, how did you top Jamaica?”
I didn’t. 😅
Wanna know what I did for my birthday this year? Let me tell you:
First, I slept in until about 10am—and man, that felt good. My sleep has been horrible this year so far, so getting a full rest was a small but much-needed win.
Then, I went to the gym and lifted some weights. Felt great to move my body again—I’ve been meaning to rebuild that habit.
Next, I rested some more and hopped on the game for a bit. I played Marvel Rivals… where I ended up in a full-on shouting match with a random teammate. 😂 Gaming really can bring out the worst in me sometimes lol.
Finally, I had just one tutoring session that evening. Two of my students had canceled earlier, so it ended up being a super light workday—which was kind of perfect. The session went well, and that would’ve been it.
This was me on my birthday 🤣
I wasn’t planning on doing anything else—just relaxing, watching TV, maybe playing more games.
But then… one of my best friends texted me and asked to take me out for dinner.
I had nothing else going on, so I said yes—and man, I’m so glad I did.
We went out for Portuguese food and I discovered two of my new favorite things: patatas bravas and sangria. 😭 The food was fire, the laughs were real, and the energy was just right.
Throughout the day, I got birthday texts and calls from friends, family, students, and even some of their parents.
It might sound simple, but honestly—it meant the world to me.
No big party. No plane ticket. No extra effort. Just peace, love, and a really good meal.
“
It might sound simple, but honestly—it meant the world to me.
R & R
Photo by ArtHouse Studio: A man by himself after a day of surfing
You might be thinking, “Okay Rich, that’s nice and all… but how did that beat a trip to Jamaica?”
And honestly? I wouldn’t blame you. Visiting Jamaica was one of the most memorable things I’ve ever done, and it’s something I’ll always cherish and appreciate to the fullest.
But can I be honest about something? It was also… very stressful.
Now, I know I might’ve lost you there. You’re probably thinking, “Rich… Jamaica is literally one of the most relaxing places on Earth. What could you possibly be stressed about?”
So let me explain
I didn’t mention this in my note last year, but planning that trip came with a lot.
First of all, I didn’t start planning until about two weeks before my birthday—something most people would do months in advance. That put me on edge immediately.
Second, I’m the true definition of a homebody. So the idea of leaving the country—even for my birthday—had my nerves on overload. It was my first international solo trip, and I was anxious in ways I didn’t even expect.
And third—while the trip was technically for my birthday—the real purpose behind it ran much deeper.
You can see that I am thinking of something….
Jamaica was the tool I chose to sever the connection between my ex and my birthday.
My hope was that doing something grand would automatically outshine the surprise birthday party Sunny threw for me—the one that had, unintentionally, become the most memorable birthday I’d ever had.
I wanted to dethrone that memory. And replace it with one of my own.
Now… that might sound noble. And in some ways, it was. But let me show you my perspective.
A place like Jamaica should be about slowing down, breathing, resting. But for me, it became a mission.
Even though my ex and I hadn’t spoken in some time, she still had emotional tenancy in my mind—especially around my birthday.
So Jamaica wasn’t just a trip. It was a last-ditch effort to reclaim something that never should’ve been stolen in the first place. I put so much pressure on that experience to fix me.
What should’ve been a place of rest and relaxation became my place of refuge and redemption
Simple and Sweet
Birthday Message from one of my best Friends 🥹
Now, I don’t want you to get the idea that I didn’t enjoy my trip—because I definitely did. Jamaica had some of the most beautiful views, the kindest people, and some truly unforgettable moments. I absolutely plan to go back one day.
But this year taught me something I didn’t expect: I don’t have to fly across the world to feel what I’ve always wanted to feel on my birthday… love.
When I tell you people really showed up for me, you have no idea. I got so many thoughtful text messages, DMs on my business IG, voice notes, phone calls… even a surprise dinner with my best friend.
That was what I’d been searching for all along.
Last year, I flew to Jamaica looking for peace, love, and rest. This year, I realized… all of that was a lot closer than I thought.
So yes—my birthday this year was simple. It was sweet. And it was everything I needed.
“
When I tell you people really showed up for me, you have no idea…
Now, Let’s Talk About You
Now I want to hear from you — how have you been? How do you feel about birthdays? Do you have a special birthday memory you’d be willing to share? I’d genuinely love to hear about it.
Take care and talk to you soon Rich Your Big Brother
Thank you Reader for reading this. The fact that you care enough to listen to what I have to say means so much. The world is a pretty difficult place sometimes, and our mental health can make all the difference. Please know that as long as you will allow me, I am here with you.
