It’s good to see you again. How have you been? I hope you’ve had more good days than bad since we last spoke.
I’m still trying to figure out my cadence with these notes. I told myself I wanted to write at least one a week, but right now I’m averaging about one a month 😭. I’m giving myself grace, though, because this is still something I’m learning to get comfortable with.
With that being said, I want to thank you for bearing with me. Whether you’ve been here since the beginning or you’re just getting started, your support means more to me than I can express.
Anyway, let’s get into today’s note. If you remember from one of my earlier notes, I’m a bit of a nerd. Actually… I can’t even lie, it’s more than a bit. It’s been a while since I’ve written from that side of myself, so today, I want to lean into it and express myself a little differently.
So if you’re ready to hear a message, I’m ready to share one.
THWIPP!!
So, as I may have mentioned in previous notes, I’m a big Marvel fan. Ever since I was a kid, Spider-Man has been my favorite superhero of all time. I could honestly talk about him for hours—why I love him, how incredible his universe is, and all the alternate versions of Spider-Man (Miles Morales being one of my all-time favorites).
But I’ll save that for another note 😅.
For now, I want to focus on something deeper.
When you think of Spider-Man, you probably think of his powers. Shooting webs and swinging through the city, superhuman strength, climbing walls, enhanced speed and agility, and of course, his famous Spider-Sense that warns him of danger. All of that is part of what makes him so cool.
But as I’ve gotten older, I’ve come to appreciate something even more.
Spider-Man never gives up.
There are countless moments in his story where the odds are completely stacked against him. I mean, there’s literally a group of villains called the Sinister Six whose sole purpose is to take him down 😭🤣. On top of that, he’s constantly dealing with people in danger—burning buildings, people held at gunpoint, and situations that seem impossible to survive.
And yet… he always finds a way.
He uses everything he has to protect others, even when it might cost him his life.
Now, you might be thinking, “Well, of course—he has powers.” And that’s fair.
But there’s a moment that shows it’s not just about the powers.
If you remember Spider-Man 2 directed by Sam Raimi, there’s a point where Peter Parker temporarily loses his powers. He becomes… normal again. At first, he’s devastated. But then, he starts to embrace it.
Because now, he can finally live his life.
Before Spider-Man, Peter was a loving nephew to Aunt May, a caring boyfriend and friend to Mary Jane, a college student studying to become a biophysicist, and a photographer at the Daily Bugle. He had responsibilities, dreams, and relationships—all while secretly carrying the weight of saving the city every day.
Without his powers, he finally gets to focus on those things again. And for a moment, he’s happy.
But then comes the test.
Peter walks past a burning building where firefighters are doing everything they can. In the chaos, he hears that a little girl is still trapped inside—but the fire is too intense for anyone to go in.
And even without his powers… he doesn’t hesitate.
Peter runs into the building anyway.
No Spider-Man. No super strength. No safety net.
Just a man choosing to help.
Fighting through flames and choking on smoke, using nothing but his human strength and will, he manages to save the little girl—almost losing his life in the process.
So as you can see… powers or no powers, Peter Parker—Spider-Man—does what he can, no matter what.
Symbiote
As I mentioned earlier, Spider-Man has a long list of villains who threaten both his life and the people he’s trying to protect. But one fan-favorite villain who is almost synonymous with him is Venom.
Nearly 20 years after the world was introduced to our favorite wall-crawling crime fighter, Venom made his first appearance in The Amazing Spider-Man #252. He’s described as a sentient alien life form with a shapeless, liquid-like body that survives by bonding to a host. That’s why it’s called a symbiote—because of its symbiotic nature.
And while most fans know Eddie Brock as Venom’s main host… he wasn’t the first.
It was Spider-Man.
In many versions of the story, the symbiote finds Peter and bonds with him without him fully understanding what it is. One of its key abilities is that it enhances the strengths of its host.
Spiderman 3 2007. I always thought this scene was so cool!
So now imagine Spider-Man—already strong, fast, and agile—becoming even more powerful.
With the symbiote, he’s stronger, faster, and more agile. He no longer needs web shooters because the suit produces its own webbing. It can even change his appearance, allowing him to blend in or go undercover.
At first, Peter sees this as a blessing.
Even though the suit is strange and mysterious, it seems to make him a better Spider-Man.
Or at least… that’s what he thinks.
Because the symbiote isn’t just a suit—it’s alive.
It has a mind of its own.
And while it appears to be helping him, its true goal is simple: survival, by any means necessary.
Over time, it begins to change Peter.
It makes him more aggressive. More violent.
He stops holding back. He starts using excessive force against criminals—force that could seriously harm or even kill them.
The longer he stays bonded to the symbiote, the worse it gets.
He becomes reckless. Unstable.
And eventually, the symbiote begins to alter his mind, making him feel like he needs it in order to be Spider-Man.
Like he can’t do it without it.
In some ways, he becomes addicted to the power.
And little by little… Peter starts to lose himself.
He becomes a shadow of who Spider-Man is supposed to be.
“
And little by little… Peter starts to lose himself.
Meteor
Photo by Erik Schereder: https://www.pexels.com/photo/comet-on-a-starry-sky-5675747/
Prior to meeting Sunny, I was very much unhappily single, lol.
I was still in the phase of trying to figure out what I wanted out of dating, but even then, I stayed busy. Between running my tutoring business and doing everything I could to support my students, I also made it a priority to show up for the people around me. I did my best to be a great friend, a great brother, a great son, a great cousin, an uncle, and even a good Samaritan to people I didn’t know.
That mindset was instilled in me by my parents—to always do what I can for others. And I took that to heart… maybe a little too much.
Because even though I was showing up in all of these areas, I still felt like something was missing. Like there was another place I was supposed to be showing up, but hadn’t reached yet.
At the time, I believed that missing piece was a relationship.
And then, out of nowhere, Sunny came into my life—like a meteor crashing into my atmosphere.
Even though I wasn’t expecting to fall for her the way I did… I did.
On top of everything I was already doing, I started making space for Sunny, treating her needs as something only I could fulfill. And at first, it felt amazing. Being there for her, providing for her, showing up as a boyfriend—it felt meaningful.
It’s hard to explain, but it felt like the relationship unlocked a new capacity in me.
I’ve always known how to love my family, my friends, and even my students in ways that fit each relationship. But with Sunny, I experienced something different—I was able to express love romantically in a way that was completely new to me.
Even I was surprised. I would catch myself thinking, “Where did this come from?”
I was never shown or taught how to love like that. But somehow, I found myself able to give, support, and care in ways I didn’t even know I was capable of.
For a moment, it felt like I had unlocked something powerful.
But that feeling of invincibility didn’t last long.
Not long after entering the relationship, I was introduced to something else I wasn’t familiar with… heartache.
Being Sunny’s boyfriend became one of the most difficult experiences of my life. I could honestly write multiple notes about the ways I was mistreated in that relationship—and I probably will one day—but for now, I’ll leave you with something that perfectly captures it.
In an interview, rapper 50 Cent was asked about relationships he had to walk away from. He responded with a simple question:
“Have you ever had a person show you, in every single way, that they couldn’t care less about you?”
As painful as it is to admit, that was my experience with Sunny.
No matter what I did… no matter how I showed up… no matter how much love I gave… it was never truly reciprocated.
And the hardest part?
I kept showing up anyway. Because I thought that’s what I was supposed to do.
One of the most damaging parts of that relationship was how it began to affect the way I showed up for the people I loved.
Slowly, I started to drift.
I wasn’t as available for my friends. I missed calls from family. There were even moments where I canceled tutoring sessions—something I never do—just to support Sunny or deal with the emotional chaos I was experiencing.
I was losing pieces of myself without even realizing it.
And I’ll never forget what my dad said to me during that time.
He’s a man of few words, but when he speaks, it carries weight.
He said, “Rich, this relationship is changing you. I see you’re hurting, and we don’t like it.”
And the truth is… he was right.
I was changing.
I was losing sight of what it meant to be a great son, a great brother, a great friend… and even a great tutor.
“
I was losing pieces of myself without even realizing it….
High-Frequency
Featured Art of the Week: From a good friend Lulu_X25_
Realizing that the symbiote was doing more harm than good, Peter finally understood that he needed to break the bond it had forced on him.
But he quickly found out… that was much easier said than done.
Venom had essentially merged with him. It wouldn’t let go.
Peter tried to rip the suit off, but it clung to his skin, fighting to stay attached to its host. Every attempt to remove it felt impossible.
All hope seemed lost.
Until one moment changed everything.
Peter accidentally struck a bell in a bell tower. The sound released a high-frequency vibration that disoriented the symbiote and caused it intense pain.
Peter had found its weakness.
He had found his opportunity.
So he began tearing the suit off—piece by piece.
It was painful. For both of them.
But eventually…
He was free.
And as strange as it may sound, I truly believe that moment parallels what I went through with Sunny.
Like Peter, I believed that having Sunny in my life made me stronger in some way. I thought the relationship was helping me grow, helping me access parts of my heart I hadn’t reached before. I thought it was making me a better partner, a better supporter, a better version of myself.
But in reality…
The relationship was poisonous.
Just like Peter, the bond I formed didn’t just affect me—it hurt both of us. It compromised who I was and caused damage to the people around me.
To truly be symbiotic means two things living together in a way that benefits both.
But that’s not what Peter experienced.
And it’s not what I experienced either.
What we experienced was something else entirely.
Something that fed off the host for its own gain. Something that drained, consumed, and disrupted everything around it.
There’s a word for that.
A parasite.
As harsh as that may sound when talking about a person… it was the truth. And I almost lost myself to it.
But just like Peter, I eventually found what I needed to break the bond.
I finally saw the situation for what it really was. I acknowledged the pain I had been carrying. And I made the decision to operate at a higher frequency—one that no longer allowed that attachment to exist.
That decision wasn’t easy.
I remember nights where I was so anxious that I couldn’t sleep. My mind wouldn’t rest. My heart wouldn’t settle.
But deep down, I knew it was necessary.
And now, looking back…
I’m grateful I made that choice.
“
I made the decision to operate at a higher frequency—one that no longer allowed that attachment to exist.
Great Responsibility
Thank you for letting me lean into my nerdiness in this note, lol. But I did it for a reason.
Sometimes, there are things in our lives that we hold on to—or maybe they have a hold on us—that we really shouldn’t be around. Vices. Addictions. Toxic relationships. You name it.
And we make excuses to keep them.
“It makes me feel better.” “It helps me not feel alone.” “It’s all I have.”
Trust me… I’ve used all of those.
But at some point, you have to check in with yourself.
If the person or thing that comes to mind brings you anxiety, doubt, unhealthy habits, or emotional and physical pain… then you might have your own version of Venom in your life.
And I won’t lie to you—it’s not going to be easy.
But I encourage you to do whatever it takes to find your frequency… and break that bond.
Because whether you believe it or not,
you are the Spider-Man of your world.
And your world needs you.
Love Yall 🥹
Now, Let’s Talk About You
Now I want to hear from you — how have you been? Do you have a Venom in your life that you need help with. Please, whatever you feel comfortable sharing. I would love to hear it.
Take care and talk to you soon Rich Your Big Brother
Thank you Reader for reading this. The fact that you care enough to listen to what I have to say means so much. The world is a pretty difficult place sometimes, and our mental health can make all the difference. Please know that as long as you will allow me, I am here with you.
